In and Out

I’ve seen alot of catchy instagram reels labeled, “In and Out”. It seems to sort of like New Years resolutions, but with a twist. Usually I love a good New Years resolution, but I’m resolving to not go all on resolving. The truth is resolutions can be exciting and a great motivator at first, until they are not. So instead of jumping head first into fixing my life with a bunch or rules and routines, I took some time to reflect on the habits I had created (or falled prey to) in 2024. I always like a little end of year self reflection. But this year I took a Try Softer appraoch. I took stock of what served me, what didn’t serve me sort of approach. I’m also letting this year come in softer, and taking time for new habits to unfold instead of demanding I do everything perfectly day 1. This year, I simply let the year start and just sunk into how I was feeling for a few days, considering and listening about what felt right.

Ultimately, I realized a few things that feel true to me and what I want. And in writing this all out, I’m giving you permission to take what works for you from this, or develop your own entire framework. It’s your life. You get to decide where it goes.

OUT:

-Comparing! This is so unhelpful and ramping up your self worth again someone else’s list of accomplishments or accolades wlll only make you feel worse. Not to mention women fall pray to this more than men. Lets celebrate each others strengths and cheer each other on! We all have different capacities and gifts. Moms on the PTO doing every school event possibe- GREAT! Let them, I’m glad they have energy, is that what you want to spend all your time and energy doing? No, then dont!

-Overcommitting! This one kind of goes hand in hand with comparing. If you are a people pleaser, you might have trouble with this one. I’d ask why your auto response is: yes. Do you really have capacity? Since I was diagnosed with hashimotos (autoimmune thyroid disease), I had to learn to say no to alot more than my pre-hashimotos self would have and had to grapple with the idea that its OK to disappoint other people, they will be ok. Will you be ok if you overcommit though?

--Trying to plan out the perfect routine- sorry to be a downer, but this is never going to happen. Life is full of unforseen expectations, ups and down, illness, tradgety, trauma that you’ll never get there. Not to mention, once you check your list off, you’ll just find more to put on there. I’ve been trying my whole life to get the perfect routine where I can say at the end of the day, “I did it, I did everything I hoped and wanted to today.” Thats not reality, my inner critic won’t let it happen, I could have been gentler with that child, more efficient with my free time, etc. So intead of trying to figure out how to get it all right, Im just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, taking a rest when I need and knowing, I did what I could for the day.

-Mindless phone scrolling- I don’t think I need to explain this much. Our phones are such a numbing device. I have deleted facebook and instagram from my phone so I’m not tempted waste time so much. I also put my phone to bed at 9:30, and I am hoping to develop the habit of not looking at it until after my kids are on the bus. I feel better when I’m present the people in front of me. Emails, texts, and social media can wait.

IN:

-More mindfulness of what I am consuming: not just in a physical sense, but in a media sense as well. Yes, I’d like to nourish my body with good foods, but I can also enjoy the food I consume. Just a reminder there are no “good and bad foods”, but reflecting if the food your eating helps your body run well the rest of the day is worth thinking about. Media as well: am i really enjoying watching this show, or am I just numbing. Don’t get me wrong its ok to numb, but when it becomes a 7 day a week habit, I’m probably not being mindful. How do I want to spend my time instead?

-Morning light- this one may seem odd, but theres been some research suggeting getting light into your eyes helps your cortisol wakening response. And how you start your day dictates how you end it. So most mornings that it is sunny, I will go outside and let the sun on my face for 5 minutes, sometimes I just enjoy the quiet (and yes I go when its cold! Its acutally refreshing) alot of times I use it as a grounding exercise to start the day rooted in the here and now so my thoughts arn’t racing a million miles ahead into the day.

-More connecting- this includes more connecting to nature, getting out and going for a walk. More connecting with my kids, and my husband. Ane more connecting with friends. Relationships are important to me, and I need to spend time cultivating them if I want them to grow. Maybe this means cutting out other things (like your to do list). But think about what sort of person you want to be remembered for. Are your friends and family going to think, “oh she always had her life together and her home so clean”, I mean maybe, but I’d rather be remembered as someone who took time to play games with my kids, played in the snow with my kids, and made time for my friends.

Maybe this year you could aim to live your life in the right here and now. Maybe some of these ideas help. Happy 2025.