“Big T” Trauma, “little t” trauma
Trauma can be defined as any event that falls outside the range of usual human experience that exceeds your nervous system’s ability to cope. Most people think of trauma as big life events such as war, car accidents, and physical or sexual violence. Other examples that might come to mind might be natural traumatic events including floods, earthquakes, or volcanic eruptions.
There are also life events that result in “little t” trauma. In fact, most everyone has experienced some type of little t trauma. A little t event is one experienced as traumatic at a personal level. Examples of little t traumas include, a bad breakup, bullying, poor parenting, financial stress, or any relationship stress.
No matter what type of trauma you have experienced your body responds by trying to protect you from potential harm. Many people have heard of the “flight or fight” response, but research is showing there are several response patterns to trauma.
Fight: this can look like an explosive reaction to a situation, yelling, slamming doors, etc. Your heart rate may increase as you attempt to counteract the danger.
Flight: Once you’ve perceived that a situation is threatening, your body may go into an “alert” mode. Your muscles may tense up as your body readies itself to flee if necessary.
Freeze: During the freeze response, your body stops/ slows down to heighten your awareness of what’s going on around you. Your hearing and vision will likely seem heightened as your brain attempts to gauge how threatening the situation is. Many people experience detachment from their bodies.
Fawn: Fawning is a trauma response where a person develops people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict and to establish a sense of safety. In other words, the fawn trauma response is a type of coping mechanism that survivors of complex trauma adopt to "appease" their abusers.
Trauma can show up in many forms; flashbacks, trouble concentrating, having a hard time setting boundaries, the need for perfection, anxiety, depression, and difficulty expressing your wants and needs.
Your experience of a situation is yours. Other people don’t get to define what is traumatic for YOU. A licensed therapist can help you identify “Big T” or “little t “ traumas in your life. Then they can help you process how you think about them. EMDR is a great way to rewire your nervous system’s response to your beliefs about the situation.
